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1. |
Ghosts On Mars
02:28
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All I wanna do is walk you home from school
But you’re treating me like I’m some kinda fool
I read the papers, baby
You read the stars
Why is everybody seeing ghosts on Mars?
I wanted nothing more than to carry your books
But all you seem to give me now is dirty looks
I read the papers, baby
You ready the stars
Why is everybody seeing ghosts on Mars?
I ain’t got schoolin’ baby
Ain’t got no class
You pick me up and throw me flat on my ass
Don’t need a pell grant
Ain’t got the time
I’ll keep you way past late on a school night
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2. |
I Was a Teenage Yeti
02:48
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I was a Teenage yeti
I’ll chill you to the bone
Come baby lay beside me
Come lay atop my frost throne
I was a Teenage monster
I got a drag strip mind
My best days behind me
I wish it all was a’frozen in time
And what a cold night it was
What a cold night it was
And what a cool wind blowing an abominable breeze again
Cold night it was
I was a Teenage yeti
With alabaster fur
My best days behind me
I wish it all was the way it were
I was a Teenage monster
I got a drag strip mind
My best days behind me
I wish it all was a’frozen in time
And what a cold night it was
What a cold night it was
And what a cool wind blowing an abominable breeze again
Cold night it was
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3. |
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Well he whistles as he waltzes up those wobbly wooden steps
The tune he whistles now with the last breath that he’s got left
The crowds already buzzing
Bloodlust hanging in their eyes
For Gary from the gallows
As the sun will top the sky
Ah nobody knows his name no one recalls his crime
But he’s grinning ear to ear as he slowly loses time
It’s a long drop for poor Gary
Aw the noose is back in style
For Gary from the gallows
And the crowd is going wild
He dangles on
He’s swelling in the breeze the afternoon bakes his frame
They’ve seen it all before but something ain’t the same
His little date with destiny
Turned out to be a fling
For Gary from the gallows
That cat can really swing
He dangles on
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4. |
Miss It When I'm Gone
02:46
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Fireside brandy with a splash of amaro
A long walk through the chasms of the places no one knows
The soft sink of her hair
The wiggle of her toes
The far away yelping of a B film picture show
I take it easy
Makin’ live ‘til the dawn
Well one things for certain
I’m gonna miss it all when I’m gone
You got a firefly focus on a skillet summer night
We’re holding hands in foreign lands, the last ones left alive
A brand new pair of peanut
Alligator tights
A creek filled with tears from every book that made me cry
I’ll take it easy
Fresh cut grass upon the lawn
Aw one things from certain
I’m gonna miss it all when I’m gone
You better let me down easy if I’m coming on too strong
For everything that I’ve done right I’ve done a million wrong
Some aviator shades
A pack of circus fleas
The wind down in my nethers and the smell of gasoline
I’ll take it easy
The last ten minutes of Wrath Of Khan
Ah one things for certain
I’m gonna miss it all when I’m gone
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5. |
Ghastly Graham Ingels
00:56
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Can’t stand up!
Can’t sit still!
If anybody strike it rich then everybody will
You’re dripping from the ceiling
You’re oozing down the hall
You’re gonna make me catch you before you couldn’t fall
Hey-ey
It’s just another day
You’re looking fine and you’re ghastly in your way
Hey-ey
It’s just another time
The Old Witch tried to tell you
To move along
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6. |
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Suffering succotash in salamander sweat
Kowloon moon pie surprise
Two Tone Tommy works the grill out back
Cook it and eat it with a side of fries
Crawfish neckties and coagulated rice
Someone is screaming in Cantonese
Chicken fried catfish eyes and everything nice
Does a fortune come with any of these?
Fortune smiles on every combination plate
Egg drop and wonton ‘til dawn
Won’t find clean silverware on any of the plates
Everything is sticky at Ping’s Chinese Restaurant
She’s looking at me, I think I love her so
Standing by the pay phone that ain’t worked since Clinton got impeached
Standing nice and tall
Nice and fine with beehive hair
So close and so out of reach
Everybody’s going mad everybody’s going nuts
Aw imitation crab fried leeches and mosquito brains to boot
It’s sliding down, all down the sneeze guard, baby
Fortune smiles on every combination plate
Egg drop and wonton ‘til dawn
Won’t find clean silverware on any of the plates
Everything is sticky in Ping’s Chinese Restaurant
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7. |
Low and Slow
03:38
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Low & slow
keeps a singing to me low & slow
Keeps a secret that I’ll never know
‘Less she tells it in her sleep
Ebb & flow
Up and vanished like the ebb & flow
All she leaves behind is bubbling foam
Kisses all around the world
I found out
Why her love for me was filled with doubt
Right in front of me
And every time I jump and shout
Like a mad cow’s round about
I heard tell
That her words for me were built in Hell
Right in front of me
And every road that points the way back home to her again
Every body wants to know her name
Low & slow
She keeps the fire burning low & slow
Though her touch to me icy cold
Kisses burned into her eyes
Roanoke
Up and vanished like the Roanoke
All she leaves behind is Croatoan
Carved into me like a tree
Ash and dust
Had the kind of eyes I could not trust
Right in front of me
And every time my heart will crust
And fill with puss ‘til it’s about to bust
I heard say
That her love for me was forged that way
Right in front of me
And every road that points the way back home to her again
Everybody wants a way back home
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8. |
Tangled Web
03:36
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Angel of wisdom
Back alley of doom
He’s down the basement
I’m up in my room
I need him beside me
Right here in my bed
I need him so badly
I wish he were dead
Got away from here
Gotta get far away
He got a tangled web
Unknowable madness
Brought back from the East
A river of cobblestone
They march and they feast
The spiders dwell deep in here
Lay eggs in my brain
An ocean of dreamland
The Plateau Of Leng
Got away from here
Gotta get far away
He got a tangled web
I whisper a skyline
It pulses and breathes
I pray for forgiveness
I’m down on my knees
There is a wicked song
It rings in my ear
His eyes have gone crimson
And he brought it here
Got away from here
Gotta get far away
He got a tangled web
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9. |
Proudfoot
04:02
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Rain came down
The ice grew thick
Saskatoon
When my youngest got sick
Fare thee well
My darling one
Oh Lord how I long
How I long to see the sun
I braved the wind
And I braved the cold
There it stood
In the center in the road
A crown of horns
Legs of a stag
Oh Lord how I long
How I long my soul to drag
And Proudfoot is my family name
And I hang my head down there in shame
I made it back
Medicine in tow
My eyes struck blind
By what I’d been shown
My wife and young
Devoured whole
Oh Lord how I long
How I long to rest their bones
Now the hot seats nigh
I know it’s time
They tried me for
That beastly crime
Pieces of my kin
Stuck in my throat
Oh Lord how I wish
How i wish it were not so
And Proudfoot is my family name
And I hang my head down there in shame
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10. |
The Amazing Mole Boy
03:06
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Come what may
Such a lovely day
All the folks gather ‘round to hear what Mole Boy has to say
Ain’t he blind
You know the kind
Thine eyes struck blind by the ever loving light divine
“You ma’am, you’ll die of rickets
Sir, your wife’s been sexing with a rodeo clown
And everybody on THIS side of the room will strike it rich before the sun goes down
Your lucky lotto numbers: one and two and one and two and twenty three
He’ll tell you all just a little bit more, just a little bit more for a modest fee”
2. Voodoo tricks
That must be his schtick
Aw the naysayers say the soothsayers get rich quick
Step right up
And fill your cup
This subterranean hovel the best of luck
Don’t need no crystal ball
No fortune telling fish
And all the shut eyes down on Faith Street now
Could only wish that they’d had his gifts
He knew it all before he could crawl
From the Rowdy Downs to the bingo hall
No horoscope
No fortune cookie
Wish bone charm
No, he beats ‘em all
“You Sir, you’ll die of anthrax
Ma’am your sons getting twenty five to life
And everybody on THAT side of the room
Will be dead before the next sun rise"
We take cash or credit card
Or traveler’s checks
No, we don’t discriminate
He’ll tell you all that’s loud and clear
Like that magic eight ball that you love to shake
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11. |
Outhouse Crescent Moon
03:54
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Mezcal cactus wine
Traveling through time
I shall not waste a dime
On pistolero crimes
The Lizard Man gave up
His Rosco pickup truck
I will not press my luck
Or be so outta touch
I whistle out of tune
‘Neath an outhouse crescent moon
The end is coming soon
‘Neath an outhouse crescent moon
It cuts right to the bone
Being so alone
I will not cast a stone
The hours begin to groan
Steady as she goes
My fingers and my toes
A featured picture show
Where love is free to grow
I whistle out of tune
‘Neath an outhouse crescent moon
The end is coming soon
‘Neath an outhouse crescent moon
Wrinkles start to show
In places no one knows
I will not thumb my nose
At voices made of crows
The gila and the grain
Cuts right through the flames
I will no take the blame
For things done in my name
I whistle out a tune
‘Neath an outhouse crescent moon
The end is coming soon
‘Neath an outhouse crescent moon
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12. |
Coney Island Waltz
03:19
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From Orion to The Beige
The 3rd Eye points the way
We can see the whole boardwalk from here
And Astroland’s stars
And the old bumper cars
I’m death when I can’t have you near
Well the Steeplechase clowns, they’re all falling down
I got enough dough to take you out for a while
And the circus tent’s glow
Lights the things we don’t know
I’ll wipe the tears as we smile
Well tonight tonight
Beacon Tower burns bright
And I pray to God it don’t rain
And the Cyclops’ Eye will raise Hell as we fly and I ask if you love me the same
Kiss me my dear, to make sure I’m awake
Aw the ten-in-one’s tussled your hair
And if it’s prizes you crave
I’ll go to my grave
At the all toss just to win you a bear
So I’ll dream of this place with a smile on my face
In the hopes that you’ll still be my girl
And if it ain’t so
You best let me know
And we’ll both go our own ways in this world
Well tonight tonight
Beacon Tower burns bright
And I pray to God it don’t rain
And the Cyclops’ Eye will raise Hell as we fly and I ask if you love me the same
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Harvey McLaughlin San Antonio, Texas
Harvey McLaughlin is an old man trapped in a young man's body. Jerry Lee Lewis, Fats Domino, Little Richard, Tom Waits, Warren Zevon, Randy Newman and that dude with the crazy hair from 'Ancient Aliens' and a comic book geek all rolled into one defiantly contemporary package. ... more
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