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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of O Gimme Blood, Long Atomic Monday, Rascality, Automaton, and Tabloid News.
1. |
Tabloid News
02:13
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did you hear the one about JFK, how he's alive and doing well?
or the miners in Ontario who drilled a hole into Hell?
or how they found the Virgin Mary on the bathroom wall of a Shell?
that's my favorite type of news is Tabloid News
spontaneous combustion, alien autopsies all around
or the Man in the Moon's memoirs have been lost and never found
a funeral to the put the world's largest cat into the ground
my favorite type of news, it's tabloid news
you see them on the TV
you see them all the time
you pick one up in the grocery line and thumb it through
you know you want to buy it
cause it's too good to be true
my favorite type of news is tabloid news
did you hear they found the missing link in a Jersey trailer park?
or the pornographic love signs been carved into Noah's Ark?
Rapture's just one week away that's when they say it's gonna start
you're gonna have to read next week's tabloid news
that's my favorite type of news, it's tabloid news
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2. |
Bigfootsville
02:22
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hot damn
smelling good like something that a witch dragged in between her teeth
look good
decked out like a million in my three piece elk skin, so sweet
north woods
stepping through the forest with my arms hanging low
like I'm singing in a chorus
hot damn
I'm headed out to Bigfootsville
oh lord
skunk apes got a line on some high fly quality cook
good god
we made it on the front of the papers baby, come and take a look
oh lord
they're trying to smoke us out, a bunch of lonely old men
with too much time to hang about it now
hot damn
I'm headed out to Bigfootsville
good lord
abominable kisses getting blown, baby, coming my way
hold on
feeling like a million, I didn't quite know just what to say
good lord
strutting through the forest with my arms hanging low
like I'm singing in a chorus
hot damn
I'm headed out to Bigfootsville
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3. |
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and it's a cold wind blowing on a Gattlingburg Saturday night
and it's a bullet for my baby to baptize him right between the eyes
and when the wind starts to moan
well you're gonna need another swig
it's last call at the dixie pig
I should be running for my life but I've been dragging my heels
cause it's been a long time since I felt what a free man feels
and when the wind gets in your bones
well you're gonna need a place to dig
it's last call at the dixie pig
and the siamese twins beat the murder rap, baby, again
cause the judge couldn't lock up the half that was an innocent man
when the wind starts to moan
well you're gonna need another swig
and when the wind gets in your bones
well you're gonna need a place to dig
it's last call at the dixie pig
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4. |
Mysterioso Blues
03:35
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I asked her for the silver she said no
I asked her for the silver she said no
I asked her the kind of things
the kind of things that the good luck brings
I asked her for the silver she said no
I offered her a diamond, she said no
I offered her a diamond, she said NO
I offered her for the kind of charms
the kind of charms keep me out of harm
I offered her a diamond, she said no
making love in the mummy's tomb
I got a crystal ball just to seal my doom
and I
I can't make it right
broken heart shattered into shards
I got some loaded dice and tarot cards
i want all my friends to make it hard
"she'll love me for the rest of my life"
I asked her for the silver, she said no
I asked her for the silver she said, NO
I'd sell my soul for the kind of gold
the kind of gold that makes you lose control
I offered her a diamond she said NO
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5. |
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well the devil in the dance hall
he's kissing and holding you so tight
but you can't see
his cloven hoofprint
there in the moonlight
you could have any kind of man in here
but you're a sucker for goat hooves and a tail
he's so well dressed
but he'll leave you distressed
darling, i know
I remember when you left
pentagram carved in your chest
you don't understand these tainted red plans
but darling though I love you
you know that it's for sure
this devil's got the fever
and you know that I'm the cure
I keep on walking back to this watering hole
trying to buy back what's left of your soul
but I can't afford it
no, I can't afford it
cause a burnt soul's worth no weight in gold
you look distressed
there in that dress
darling I love you
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6. |
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catgut suspenders and some cowbelly shoes
old castor oil at the Too Good To Be True
cactus and whiskey and some she crab stew
taking a nap down by the creek
it's getting harder to speak
small calloused fingers work their way up her spine
they run through her hair like they're untangling twine
sister of Judas I'll absolve her in time
an old torn top hat sits quietly there
don't you know that it's impolite to stare
make a shiv from the moon
and take a stab with a spoon
a rusty black raincoat
not a moment too soon
my baby's too good for the 515
bare knuckled boxing behind the Beyond Belief
blank battered bible on her bathroom sink
she'll empty your wallet with a smile and a wink
there but for the grace of god go I
feels like the finest alive
she's frying up frogmeat on the hood of my Ford
greasy blue moonshine and she gave me her word
still ain't the strangest thing that I'd ever heard
tennessee two step again
didn't think that I'd call you my friend
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7. |
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Volcano in the center
of our silly little town
people all come running
come from miles and miles around
to see the cinders and the smoke and to get a chance to choke
on the Great Hihmoga hotel Fire of 1893
My ex wife and both our kids
were my pride and joy til it all hit the skids
now I'm in this hotel bar to drink myself half to death
and to lose what little dignity that I've got left
with a bottle full of burbon that I can barely see
and to hide from all the troubles that come looking after me
there's a pitchfork in the basement there's a viper at my feet
for the Great Hihmoga Hotel Fire of 1893
8 floors up above us the ceiling's full of fumes
from the freshly founded ember that had started to consume
the presidential penthouse where Mr. Cleveland had just stayed
when he was on his way to Baltimore and stopped in last May
I was talking to a woman from a house of ill repute
who was giving me the story of why she was so destitute
so I was the last to notice the flames that'd broken free
in the Great Hihmoga Hotel Fire of 1893
Did someone leave a cigarette burning?
did a curtain catch a candle blowing?
they never really had any way of knowing
what exactly had set the whole town a-glowin
We'll never know what's behind the mystery
I never will forget the sounds from that hotel
with all the screaming and crying, like a holiday in Hell
no one knew just why 37 people died
why half the city's upper class were roasted alive
newspapers tried to ask me if I'd thanked my lucky stars
to make it from the blaze without a scratch of harm
My ex wife is still long gone and took my kids from me
so who cares about the Great Hihmoga Hotel Fire of 1893
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8. |
Must've Been Elvis
02:24
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it was way back in the eighties I could barely keep a job
but I got a steady paycheck pumping gas out in the dark
slow and boring work somewhere there off the interstate
it was graveyard until sun-up had no trouble working late
then one night unexpected pulled a long pink cadillac
got a good look at the driver, nearly had a heart attack
great big greasy sideburns and long deep Memphis laugh
he had a pistol in his pocket and a peanut butter sandwich on his lap
he slipped me crisp twenty and told me "fill her up",
I took a slug of bourbon from a styro coffee cup
"thank you very much", said and rode off in the dark
I'll never forget the things I seen, when went and left his mark
was it the devil in disguise?
shooting out the TV's with a rusty .45
Do you recall suspicious minds?
I wanna know
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9. |
Tunguska
02:59
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well the son-in-law's got a monkey paw,
he's telling tarot by the side of the road
it's a fine funny feeling that the whole place here is fixing to explode
smell gets in your clothes
now the heat cooled down and the murderer found
it was a lonely way back west
it's a whole heapin helpin of the kinda shit they can't get off their chest
different than the rest
hot damn, sonofabitch
now you've got me drinking wine
and dreaming of a black tunguska sky
hot damn, sonofabitch
now that Tesla's fighting mad
it's a long time coming but they don't know exactly what they had
now the scientists all scratch their heads
and they're giving me dirty looks
they're searching all around this town for the kind of shit that can't be found in books
different than it looks
and the old man Edison
he just ain't been quite right
he scratch all around the grounds for the kind of shit that went wrong on that night
all right
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10. |
November 1st
04:07
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well the ghouls don't looks so ghastly when you're trying to block the sunshine from your face
in this graveyard of a living room with moldy pumpkins beer cans scattered all about the place
waking up on the hard wood floor
Frankenstein's monster passed out by the door
the empty flasks and plastic masks won't hide your head from the thought of her no more
last night was quite the spectacle, such a spooky set of circumstance got us all flying so high
and all the liquor and candy in the world won't keep me from from tumbling out this early autumn sky
thinking about this time last year
wondering why you ain't nowhere near
thinking about all the fun you're getting into since you put those miles between there and here
oh Novermber 1st
I'm coming home in the morning
with my head two sizes too big and I'm feeling two feet tall
just like a voodoo curse
oh November 1st
I think I kissed the wolf man, or it must've been a power ranger or something weird like that
and i think i'll go ballistic if I see another fake eyeball or decortive taxidermied black cat
the cauldron punch did a number on me
the madness of your memory won't ever set me free
lost my wallet and my keys and most of all my dignity
and the ghosts don't look so gorgeous with make-up cracked and smeared across their face
prancing all around in next to nothing, just a little bit of arsenic and old lace
that ain't no costume, ain't never been
you were always much more creative than them
thinking how it's been a long long time since I've called you my friend
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11. |
All's Well In Roswell
02:35
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(instrumental)
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12. |
6 to 8 Weeks
01:46
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shrunken heads and kung fu books
brine shrimp having a blast
8 foot ghost to fool your friends
every gag a little better than the last
hypno coins and potato guns
tired of sand getting kicked in your face?
only a buck, baby, I think I'll press my luck
oh, I always wanted a joy buzzer anyway
send away for something great
save my dough all week
a postage stamp is all it takes
to have tomorrow delivered straight to my feet
C.O.D. or DOA
the post man didn't come today
so I'll wait patient anyway
6 to 8 weeks away
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13. |
Fiji Mermaid, Fade Away
03:29
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twinkle twinkle little bat
the road is rough and the world is flat
I like you best in that pretty black dress
your fins are showing your tails's a mess
I put out the fire you begun
you ripped out my silver tongue
as I begun to sing your praise
putting out the Hell you raised
mushroom cloud has blinded my mind's eye
I hope I get to see you one more
time before I die
fade away fade away
fiji mermaid fade away
there's a sucker born every minute
born every moment of your life
etched in in all the promises we make
with a rusty butter knife
I'll give back the prize I won
the rides here ain't no fun
right back where we begun
beneath the glow of some california sun
you're medusa's eyes with out the stone
the missed call on the telephone
your nails are prettiest when they're chipped
a curiousity with fashion show hips
the center's sewn the cards are marked
you lured me in with your carnival barker's bark
if you want me now just let me know
I'll love you til I have a tag on my toe
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Harvey McLaughlin San Antonio, Texas
Harvey McLaughlin is an old man trapped in a young man's body. Jerry Lee Lewis, Fats Domino, Little Richard, Tom Waits, Warren Zevon, Randy Newman and that dude with the crazy hair from 'Ancient Aliens' and a comic book geek all rolled into one defiantly contemporary package. ... more
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